Friday, 13 September 2013

Pop: Hands off my porn, thieves!





The internet is a wonderful place. It is the only place on the planet where we are truly free, where anyone can be part of a community without any strenuous social obligations to get dressed or act the right way or maintain the relationships that we develop. Or at least it was, before Facebook and Twitter. There were social sites before of course, I tolerated Myspace and Bebo when I was younger because my IRL friends expected me to, but when the new-age of sites like Facebook took over it became too popular, it made the orange-faces realise fully that the internet was there and quickly following them were governments. The whole purpose of government is to control the people and we have allowed them access to our cosy, hidden world. 

The problem with orange-faces, and with the real world getting involved, is that they don’t understand internet culture. They expect us all to follow their real life values, they expect us to be dressed, to say the right things, to be polite and keep to their laws. They don’t understand the point of an internet troll, they believe the things that they say and arrest them for breaking a law that never applied on the internet before they came. They feed them and rage at them, then get shocked when something insulting is said. They find memes like 'nigga stole my chocobo' and because they have never bothered to try to understand our culture, they think its racist. They insult our rape sloths, they misunderstand the sensitive nature of the creeper, and they bring us the dreaded ‘girl gamers,’ and by that I mean actual female gendered people. All of us on the internet are without gender, we are just words typed onto a screen and the vast majority of the time it isn’t relevant whether you’re an innie or an outie, but the real world brings those horrible women who are trying to make a point by playing a game so without actually caring about the rest of the server or the rest of the people in the conversation, they make it known constantly that they’re a girl. Some of them even, disgustingly, put girl in their name. (or 'gurl', for which they should be culled.)

And now, to add insult to injury, they want to block us from our porn. When will they realise that the reason that young children look at porn is that they are interested in sex. Being interested in what goes on is part of growing up and it's insulting that all these older people who got their kicks in parks with magazines they’d stolen from their parents are now telling us that we shouldn’t watch porn. Teenagers want to watch porn. They tell their parents that they don’t know where it came from because they are embarrassed that they’ve been caught, parents must be really, truly stupid if they think that anybody finds porn by accident in the recent age of the internet. Maybe in the past, when spam was much more of a problem and the newness of Google meant that the search engines weren’t all decided by who paid the most, but not now. To find porn you have to search for porn, and whatever is done to stop us accessing it, rule 34 will still reign supreme. 

In all truth I think it’s a sad thing that we are all so determined to control what everyone else does. Have we not done enough culture destroying in the past? Have we not learnt our lesson from colonialism, where we told people that they weren’t allowed to worship their gods and called their languages gobbledy gook and imposed our laws on them regardless of their cultural perspective? Do we have to destroy everything that we don’t understand, or does the internet not matter because you can’t see the faces of the people that you are denying the freedom of? If they were going to regulate the internet and control it then they should have done it from the beginning, they can’t give us our freedom and then take it away, they don’t own us. 

But the problem is as it always is, the orange-faces have louder voices and the government only listen to the people who will vote for them. There might be a large number of us, but the reason that we flock to the internet is because we don’t fit in with the real world and so our voices out there are unfortunately small. Whatever castles we build, however many endermen or arrowed knees or philosoraptors or Woll Smoths or sad Keanus that we send in our defense, the effects of their laws on our world are only going to get worse. Facebook has allowed them a portal to destroy the last free place on Earth. The only solution now is to destroy internet explorer, then none of them will know how to get in. 

Failing that, it's time to all move to the bottom of the sea. 

Pop



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