Tuesday, 4 December 2012

Pop: Subjects, you are now permitted to celebrate




There is one meaning to life, which is true almost whatever doctrine that you follow. Our function of humans is have babies and therefore continue the species. Some of us choose not to complete the objective of our species but all that means is that we have chosen not to complete our inherent goal, something we thankfully have the freedom to do because of the fact that the overwhelming majority still choose to complete it. 

My point is that having a child is not special. It is a rare thing to not be able to have a child; therefore logic should dictate to any person with a mind that having a child is not rare or particularly odd. I’m sure expectant parents love the fact that they’re having a child and I’m sure to them it feels wonderful but they aren’t any different from a cow popping out meat onto a field. It’s just as normal and just as disgusting. If anything the biggest difference is that the product of the cow’s agony is cuter than the wrinkled space mutant that comes out of a woman.

I have complained multiple times about the talentless unelected money-suckers, who live in their idealistic gold-plated world and about the fact that they are immune to the abuse that every other rich person gets simply because we, as mere objects that they own, are not allowed to insult them too openly, but this new story really takes the biscuit. It is not a wonderful thing that one of the posh people who own us all is having a baby (a baby who, despite not being born, will ascend to the throne in 2072 as Queen Elizabeth the third if you listen to the media). It is not special, it is not magical. It is what every normal person is pressured into doing by society. So what the news is currently doing is celebrating their normalness, which to be honest doesn’t surprise me that much. Normality is, after all, the ultimate goal of the popular majority. 

Currently, despite all the problems in Syria and Israel flouting international law, I am being subjected to near twenty-four hour coverage of this banal story. There are people on the television over and over talking about their own experiences of childbirth and hyperemesis gravidarum, which nobody seems to understand and they are stalking Prince William in an effort to catch him going in to the hospital to see his unwell wife as if that is something strange rather than something just as unspecial and boring as the fact that she’s pregnant in the first place.

Really, you have to hand it to the royal family. To be able to run a country that goes to war in the name of democracy while keeping the people stupid enough that they never notice they don’t vote in their leaders either, is quite a clever system of control. This baby will be just another child in a long line of people who have done absolutely nothing to earn their position and yet will be celebrated for existing, destined to simply get married to a rich white person who has normal views and normal opinions, and then to have a child who follows on in exactly the same footsteps. The women act as happy cows doing their duty by calving in the correct season and being happy stay at home mums, the men go out and join a sector of the military so that they can go and shoot people from countries they might like to own one day. 

And the people they own simply celebrate it, because they’re too whipped to do anything else.  But then what else would you expect from people who clap for fire. 

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