Thursday, 19 July 2012

Pop: Hank the truck-driving blonde

Perhaps the one thing guaranteed to get me angry is something that most people would never understand or think is important but it has blighted my life for as long as I can remember.

People who dye their hair blonde and then claim to ‘just be a ditzy blonde.’

I am a natural blonde, a rare breed in this country. I know now that I’m older how nice a colour my hair is but when I was younger my friends only saw me as pretty when I briefly dyed my hair a shade darker. I looked no different because at certain times in the year my hair darkens naturally, but suddenly I was attractive. 

Clearly this is ridiculous and not true, what my friends saw as attractive was the idea that I had put in effort. That is why the hideous looking women with eyelashes bigger that my index finger and orange skin and dyed blonde hair are worshipped by society, it’s because they are clearly trying and therefore must be easy. The only reason a person would really put that much effort in is as a mating signal, like birds with their plumage. 

If a person has dyed their hair, they cannot claim to be inherently more stupid because of that hair colour, adding chemicals to their hair doesn’t suddenly change their genetics. It isn’t that I’m against blonde jokes or anything like that, I adore them in fact and when asked for a joke will always throw out one of the collection that I have in my head, it’s the fact that they are trying to lay claim to something rare that I am very proud of. It would be like me claiming that I’m American because I’ve changed my name to Hank and bought a truck, it’s just blatant lying and insulting to those who do hold those traits. 

Maybe it is silly and maybe not something that the world should really be concerned with but I will continue to overreact at the black eye-browed fools who claim that their stupidity is down to their hair dye. It only takes one person listening to my overreaction to bend the world further towards my will.    

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