Wednesday, 4 July 2012

Blip: If you're not a physicist, the Higgs boson is none of your business.

The news has been talking about the possible evidence towards the existence of the Higgs boson, the keystone of the Standard Model and I object. The news has no business whatsoever talking about such a thing. It is one thing to bastardise medical reports and medical terms to sell to the mindless public of sheep who come out with lies and propaganda slogans like “Just one cigarette can cause lung cancer”, “Watching T.V. ruins your eyesight” and “We only use 10 percent of our brains” - That last one, by the way, applies exclusively to the people that believe it – but at least medicine is something a little more graspable by the general public, trying to get people excited about discoveries in advanced physics is just insulting.

I have a working knowledge of quantum physics and something of an interest in sub-atomic particles but I am nowhere near versed enough to fully come to terms with most of the information that emanates from CERN. Most people, however, are a little stupid, they are the people that clean our streets, that serve our food and that unpack the cardboard boxes containing the materials we use to study physics, that is, if they can be trusted with a Stanley knife (‘box-cutter’). 

It is insulting because the media think they can summarise decades of detailed research that continually cross-references between many theories and in a few minute segment, make it accessible to people that barely know what an atom, an electron or a fermion is. It’s not that I think everybody is far too stupid, although that is true for the most part; it’s that most people don’t have the expertise to understand this discovery’s implications and most people won’t be affected by it in the slightest.
Media slogan nonsense:

-“The Higgs boson is one of the main building blocks in the universe”: Go away! You are hereby relieved of the use of your brain, other people could do better things with it like design a softer toilet paper, draw a moose or die quietly. If your intellectual level hovers around that of building blocks then stop pretending to be an adult, fuck off into the corner and go to town with a set of Lego, leave us practicing the actual edicts of adulthood and sensibility.

-“The God Particle”: I am sick of hearing this term. The Higgs boson has nothing to do with the primitive notion of God, nor the more advanced notion of God. It’s not that it disproves God, discredits God or stands as a further weapon for atheists; it simply has nothing to do with the mysterious toga-wearing sky-daddy; the Higgs boson does not provide a theory for the genesis of the universe, it doesn’t deal with morality and it doesn’t drop a medusa nuke on a pair of cities because they dared have sex. Most respectable physicists will tell you the same thing or at very least that the term is inapplicable to the particle in question.

-“The Higgs boson gives other particles their mass”: This is a common over-simplification of the truth. For me to go into the truth would be to commit the heinous sin that I am accusing the media of, so I won’t do that; I will just say that this is a limited, primary school explanation of such a thing.
All of you out there, the dim people, the fingerpointers, the general mass of pulsating morons and twazzocks, you know who you are, listen here: Leave the smart people alone, they are worth more than you and should not be subjected to the trivialisation of their difficult work to please you lot for five minutes between picking out a new pair of soft, burglary-ready trainers and figuring out how to vigorously yet ineffectually copulate thus filling the planet with more empty-headed, lazy, feckless buffoons spewing their neanderthalic drivel into the ears of those above them in every conceivable order of significance. 

You heard me.

Blip (signature placeholdery thing)


  1. Fuck you, not everyone who works in food is stupid. If you ever came to my work, I'd put pubes in your food then vomit in your face. And how in the fucking Sam hell can anyone "have a working knowledge" of quantum physics? It makes sense on paper but hardly anyone truly understands it, especially not a person with merely "something of an interest in subatomic particles"... Now go watch the Big Bang theory, pretend to be a scientist, and wait for me to vomit on your fat ugly face you nazi piece of fuck.

    1. A working knowledge of quantum physics is exactly what you've alluded to when you say it makes sense on paper. I didn't say I 'truly understand it'. In fact, I admitted to quite the opposite. -1 point for not paying attention.

      Other than that, your comment is the usual troll bile showing nothing more than an odd hatred of Big Bang theory and Nazis, a limited understanding of punctuation and a general unhappiness in your chosen sector of work.

      If you want to come across as intelligent (so as to disprove a point you think I've made), controlling your neanderthalic emotions and cutting down on enraged ranting are the best first steps. Building coherent arguments is equally important but maybe a little advanced for you.

      Otherwise, just try to remind yourself that other people have opinions too and they are as valid and invalid as yours are, regardless of how repugnant (or convincing) you find them.



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