The Olympic torch is going past my house as I write. I can hear the fingerpointers shouting, I have already been glared at by police for daring to go onto the road where I live in order to get into my own place of residence.
There are people lining the streets to watch fire, something we have known about for thousands of years but I understand that fingerpointers must have their fun, I understand that their fireworks must get in the way of the football which I am trying to watch. What I don’t like is that they have to do it outside my house and that they have to interrupt my much more worthwhile existence. We considered if we could get away with throwing water at the torch; we were going to make signs but we feel that there are better and more intellectual forms of protest, as much as the other options might be fun (although given the way the internet is going, the mere mention of upsetting people may get me arrested).
So I am protesting, I am protesting by sitting inside my house with the curtains shut and my music on loud. I might even make a porn video while I’m here and be as loud as I can just to ruin any videos that might be being taken of the torch.
I will not degrade myself by cheering the combustion of gases and if you do, I pity you.
If you agree with me, have sex loudly when the torch comes near you.
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